Bible Games Revied by the Angry Video Game Nerd

You Are All Lawn Gnomes

I SHIT ON YOU

Spring is HERE!

Euromullet, in light of the niceser weather, let us come together as brothers. You are a worthy adversary, EM. Your tactics may be dubious at times. That is why you represent the side of evil and I the forces of Righteousness. So put our petty differences aside and stop this unproductive squabbling. I offer you a truce.

All claws lead to Happy Peacetime.

NASA Detects Oatmeal Raisin Cookie in Asteroid Belt

Yesterday, scientistical humanoids utilized supra-hella-cool machines for the purposes of snack reconnaissance. The GH1603 Rotational Dynamic Sucrose-SodiumChloride Detection Probe sent back information to Earth that shocked scientistical humanoids. They then went to lunch to celebrate the great discovery. Upon passing the Asteroid Belt on its way to Jupiter to attempt a gravitational acceleration to explore the far reaches of the solar system for the "Snack to end all snacks," GH1603 reported back data indicating the existence of a half-eaten oatmeal raisin cookie. This comes as a monumental discovery. Whereas it is well known that several thousand oatmeal raisin cookies inhabit the Asteroid Belt, none have ever been reported to have a bite taken out of it. This raises questions about the missing link to a unified field theory.

Theorists are already working on fitting in an adjusted gravitational constant accounting for an increased attraction between all matter and oatmeal raisin cookies. Apparently, Forcal Pladinsti of 75 Wood Thrush Way walked into a focused gravitational cookie ray and was instantly sucked into outer space towards the cookie. He traveled so fast that he was able to reach the Asteroid Belt and take a bite of the cookie before dying in the harsh conditions of outer space. This monumental discovery is expected to have massive consequences in the future of humanoid technology. It is rumored that a superior cookie based computing system, as well as a PDA/Cookie are currently in development. For more information, please visit the Crawford Institute for the Turminally Nom.

Tally Ho

I am disappointed...

How disappointed I am in you Mr. Claus. I extended you the olive branch and you only respond with some ridiculous image, clearly not you. And yes, the hair is quite nice but not at all what the ladies think sexy. Look at me and you will see sexy. See how she is happy there, so close to me. I see no ladies close to you.

ALF

Rate My Poo

Go ahead. Rate it.

My Down to Earth Handsomeness Will Eradicate Your Posh Hairdo, Euromullet.

London, 1989. I show you my true self Euromullet. Observe how handsome I am. Feel yourself debating your sexuality because of my extreme attractive nature. Moses sits atop my head to create that wonderful, Biblical Part. Have you ever seen a part such as this EM? The answer is yes. You just have and you still are because you can't stop looking at it. It almost prevents the eye from that which has not before is weren't didn't not. HA HA!! My shoulder beckon's to you. "Hello." It says. "I have a pointless strap," continues the noble hair free shoulder, "and it has a button...........button.........button." As you drift off into a dreamless sleep, Euromullet.

ONLY TO BE AWAKENED BY A DULCIMER TO THE SKULL AND A PETRI DISH OF ROTTEN FISH.!!!!!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHHH EUROMULLET THAT WHICH IS WITHOUT YOU I HAVE TAKEN AND THAT IS HAVE YOU WHAT IS NEVER MORE OR SHALL BE HITHERTO. HA HA.

All Claws lead to BeefClaus.

Try Your Best at Growing

Ah, Mr. Claus...I feel you are nearly out of threats. I think it is high time to stop this nonsense. Try your best at growing. You do not cause me fear and I tire of your empty threats. Perhaps together we could work this out. I hand to you an olive branch.

Cut the S#!% Euromullet!

It is time to end your lies and deceitful manner, EM. "And I do not even respond to your threats with rabbit picture because that is just ridiculous and the rabbit looks delicious to me." Do pretend you not that fear is not instilled in your Perrier ridden blood. Your fancy pants water boils inside your veins made of hot dogs dropped by a small children that were terrified by picture rabbit. So cut the S!#@, Euromullet. And get a haircut. You look like an a$&?#@!*

All Claws lead to BeefClaus.

If I Were Jesus...

It's Me, Mario!

Shoes

Maybe The Only Hockey Player As Tough As Domi

Tie Domi Should Be in the Hockey Hall of Fame For Being the Best Fighter Ever

Here you all go. Some of the best Tie Domi moments.



Tie Domi with the wicked right to knock Ulf Samuelson out cold. (Best cheap shot ever!)



Tie Domi and a Flyers fan fight in the sin bin. (This is a Tie original)




The classic Tie Domi fight against Bob Probert. Probert has almost a foot on Domi and he takes the title.

Rumpy Stenry

Why do image not found always lead to no image. And how do they get there? These and other questions will soon be no image by an ancient image not found. Found in the sacred image lost, it requires great care and insightful interpolation to image not found. So much so, in fact, that the readers of this no image will be unable to no image.

Tally Ho

Let Me Hear Your Body Talk

Meat and Stuff

You Threaten Me With Machine?

Mr. Beef Klaus - you threaten me with machine like little girl? I am a man who fights with my hands. I do not hide behind machines. But if this is how you choose to battle me then I will be forced to bring out my machine. Not some silly bicycle with a hippie rider. Instead I shall bring forth the machines that you see here. The ones that once ransacked my village until we tame them and work them to our wishes. They have been sleeping many years but do not think that I will not use them against you. And I do not even respond to your threats with rabbit picture because that is just ridiculous and the rabbit looks delicious to me.

Euromullet. Beware my newest creation AND OR blunder?!!

Behold my latest edition of unyielding wrath, Euromullet. This device, piloted by ex-minor leauge hockey club linebacker turned gourmet sandwich chef, Guilphinead Rapinintstonistin, will propel you to doom Euromullet. Do you see that bag of trash on the rear wheel of its Anterior Pain Quadrant? Yes, you do. That's right Euromullet. See that trash. Fear it. For you will soon be near it. And smell it. It doesn't smell that bad, but if you poke around in it, it releases hellish aromas that will scare away even the most fierce dung beetle. So poke, Euromullet, poke. Poke the Anterior Pain Quadrant's Olfactory Release Mechanism Decoupling Device and feel the wrath of Guilphinead Rapinintstonistin. HA HA HA HA HA!!!

All Claws lead to BeefClaus.

SHESB Readers Shocked By Study

A NEW! study that has been released yesterday by the International Association for the Internationalization of International Nations reported that readers of the widely popular and critically acclaimed "Stumpy Henry & the Ethereal Stick Blog" have been reported to have been writing in passive tense for what may have been several hours this morning. Local police were arriving at the scene from beginning of today and up through and with wait until this is from before here. Onlookers were said to have been describing the scene from the previous sentence and become were horribly confused. The remainder of the readers may choose not to seek treatment for minor cuts and abrasions but are reccomended from a man with an envelope to go between instead of over them. The reason being that the spherical symmetry of an asymmetrical non-sphere is and was is not isn't not even is.

Your Greasy RatTail Does Will Not Thwart My Minions

No Euromullet! I shall not be intimidated by your € 7,000 haircut that seems as if it was procured from the inside of a sheep's anus. Do you see, Euormullet? Do you see what I shall do to you? I shall come to the club and find you on Beefsmas Eve and make you look like this. Rabbit. This. Rabbit is what you will wish you look like when I am through with you, Euromullet. You have no chance to resist; for the past exists in the future and it has already happened to you. Euromullet.

All Claws lead to Beefclaus.

Don't Worry, Spacebaby, You're Future is Safe With Me

Yes. Beef Claus. i meet you in the discotek. My skills are so much so that you will not be able with yours to withstand my power. I am such that you are a weakling beside me. Do not think that because you are aware that you cannot think in defeating me. Because you will not. Like samson my powers come to me and give me greatest strengths. You will see. And you will be more sorry that you expect. So spacebaby, do not worry. The time will come and you will need not worry more ever.

Stupid Man

P.O.D.

The New Revolution

Hi, i need some quail eggs. I thought that if I titled this post "The New Revolution" that some one would actually read it. And now you are. So if you have some quail eggs, I would very much care for some. I could come over to your house or box or small hut and eat quail eggs that belong to you. This would be nice because then I can finally eat some quail eggs. I don't have any crumbs from the bottom of a toaster but I could give you $1 million in unmarked non-consecutive Canadian dimes. If you are interested, look out your window and I will probably be staring at you thinking, "Why isn't he inviting me in to eat quail eggs?"

Tally Ho

Airtoons

More

You're a Douche

Saying that too much all day long? Wish you had some cards to say it for you? Now you do.

Grow Your Own 1-Up Mushroom

Package says that eating the 1up Mushroom will grant "immortal life beyond dreams of man." It also has the warning: Do not put in face.

Mr. Steam Ears

Moron Movies

Len Cella on MySpace

From the Maker of Moron Movies

Christian Surfer

Dirty Hippies, Rejoice...Your Savior Has Returned...

Stumpy Henry is here to lead you to the promised land.